Wednesday, January 12, 2005

It's Raining, It's Pouring

4:00PM. It's totally raining outside the window at work. Hopefully it will let up before I have to walk out the door in thirty minutes. Oh crap, did I shut my sky roof? Yes, apparently I did. Well that was my panic attack for the day.
I found blogs for some people I knew in highschool today and it sent me back. I suddenly found myself reminiscing about how messed up things were in highschool. And I would wager that I had a pretty good highschool experience, as they go. I can't seem to remember anything particularly warm and fuzzy about it, but I mainly chalk that up to bad memory. There must have been something good about highschool.
I think I experienced some sort of selective amnesia after hs graduation. I had to ask friends today to send me pictures of people I knew I should remember, but can't. I don't remember very many events, and the ones I do remember seem to always be those that involved my utter mortification...such as - well, we won't go into that one. This isn't a diary after all. But the list does include my best friend having seizures, a bomb threat at Prom (though that wasn’t so bad, I was ready to leave), a myriad of speech and theatre tournaments that I hated, one very messed-up relationship, and a never-ending battle with eyebrows that refused to cooperate.
I think most teenagers go through a "finding self" phase sometime around sophomore year of highschool. I didn't hit that phase until my freshman year of college, so I spent the majority of highschool with a sense that everybody else knew something I didn't. I guess that pretty much sums up my highschool experience: a (quite possibly accurate) sense of cluelessness.
Perhaps that's why I can't bring myself to scrapbook highschool. It seems that for me, life began in college.
It's finished raining now. I love Texas rain. It's one of the things I missed in the five years I was in the Northwest. It rains, it pours, and it's done. Bam bam bam. Likewise, I'm done reminiscing about highschool. Soooo many better things to do with my day. Like play video games while I wait to go home.
8:30pm. AAAAGGGGHHHH. Scan scan scan scan stitch stitch stitch crop shrink sharpen save open upload save. Scan scan scan scan stitch stitch stitch crop shrink sharpen save open upload save. Somebody has to invent a better way to get 12x12" scrapbook pages on the internet. I'm done for now. My eyes are crossing and my back feels like it's made out of Legos.

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