How to Make Me Grumpy

Call up our office and ask how many of our products are floating around in Texas. When I tell you there's really no way to get an accurate figure on that, tell me you weren't born yesterday.

First of all, I could care less when you were born. Second, I have neither the inclination nor imagination to make up answers to distributor questions just to see how naive you are. To assume that I'm deliberately trying to mislead you is insulting and inappropriate.

Then, respond to my silence by telling me you're a "smart ass" as though it's some kind of ailment that excuses rude behavior and THE COMPLETE LACK OF DISCERNMENT BETWEEN "WITTY" AND "OFFENSIVE." That's not a smart-ass. That's just an ass.

And it's not an apology when you're proud of it.