Magnetic Sweater

The sweater I'm wearing today is one of those pieces of clothing that attracts everything. It seems that every woman is required to own at least one of these. Whenever I wear it, I have to employ the force field to keep the pets away because touching my dog means I walk away wearing more fur on my sleeves than he has on his entire body. How does that happen??? It's just not right to go through an entire lint brush in one day. Trips to the bathroom also require extra caution to ensure you don't return with the roll of toilet paper stuck to your back.

So thanks to this weird stretchy material and an overabundance of static electricity, I'm a walking magnetic field, forever explaining to people that no, I'm not attempting to impersonate Labyrinth's Junk Lady.

But I'm warm, which is what mattered to me the most when I dressed this morning. It's supposedly going to snow today, though we've seen no direct signs of it thusfar. I think the weatherman is just playing with my emotions.

And in other news today...actually I think these were from yesterday:
How to get fired
A New Low

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go release the squirrel that got stuck to my sweater on the way in this morning.